The So Called Second Session And I No Longer Respect My Therapist

[Butterlamb]

Tuesday went so well with my therapist. It was the first day and I poured my heart out and then she said "I'll see you on Thursday"

Well guess what, today is Thursday and my session should have started 10min ago but when I called to tell her that I was there she said "oops no we will be meeting on Tuesdays." If we are only meeting on Tuesdays, then why did you tell me to meet you on thursday. This isn't faulty remembering on my part because I scheduled it into my phone right after she said it so as NOT to forget!!!!

I'm so angry right now that i just want to yell at her for screwing with my emotions and go back to bed. :mad: I would have never had to get up this morning with the shakes and on edge if i didnt think that I was going into T this morning. My stomach would be fine and my heart wouldnt be racing right now if it was just another day.

I can lose respect for people very easily, and once i do, its gone. They can never get it back. How am I supposed to go in there next tuesday and tell her how I feel when right now all i feel is mad at her?!?! I would have been so much more productive last night if I didnt think that I had a session this morning. Now I have 45min to get my paper done with my heart rate going at a mile an hour.....

I don't know what to do anymore, this week was going so well. :dontknow:

 

[CCurry]

I can totally understand why you feel like you do.

When I pulled my OH's family doctor aside and explained to her that D is underplaying everything and in fact he is worse then he is making her believe and gave her a few examples and I saw her expression change to concern. The reason we went to her is that we needed an immediate referral to a psychiatrist and after explaining to her that this appointment is of an urgent nature, I just found out this week that he's appointment is set for mid February and I've lost respect for her.

C.

 

[2quilt]

Can you get a different therapist, one that is not so scattered? That was a red flag that she might be one of those airhead therapists.

 

[Manic11]

I agree with 2quilt. That maybe a sign that she is unorganized and forgetful. Might not be the right therapist for you.

I understand your trust issues. I'm the exact same way. I wish you luck.

Manic

 

[onebravegirl]

I would be asking myself, Who am I hurting more If I stay this upset? Me or the Therapist? People make mistakes. I would suggest telling the T how you feel. If you want to break this barrier you have put up about not trusting people, this is a great place to begin. You might even come out of this establishing a deeper relationship with the T if you get right to this issue. It kinda sounds like this would be a great staring point for what Therapy can help you with. Just looking through a window here.:dontknow: Hope things sort out for you soon,
O

 

[Grainne]

Hi Butterlamb

I would find another therapist, if possible. She may, indeed, just be a bit scattered BUT, she's made you feel uncomfortable. It was likely unintentional on her part but if you have a hard time gaining 'respect' for someone again who has let you down...well, why add more stress to an already stressful situation?

If you choose not to go back to her, can you find someone else quickly to keep up the momentum you have started for yourself? It took me three tries to find the therapist that really worked well with me... Keep going forward :) You're headed in the right direction!

Grainne

 

[Butterlamb]

Thank you everybody

I feel much better now that i have had time to cool down about it, even though I am still a little more stressed out then I would like to be (but wouldnt we all). I am going to try to stick it out for a little bit and talk to her about what happened, and if i still cannot gain respect for her then I will try to see the other school therapist. (Thank you One I really needed to read that to help myself relax)

Im going to try and see where everything goes from here because I really do not want to have to look outside for help because then insurance and money is involved, where by seeing someone on campus it is free and for me to deal with, not my parents. But if she makes me feel scattered and broken again then I will definitely seek out someone else.

 

[a3a2]

I think it a good call, Butter. Part of healing is learning to take chances, and yes, even recognizing that people make mistakes without intending to harm you.

 

[shiraz]

I hope that you are able to really communicate your fears and frustrations with her - don't play it down! If she is going to take you seriously into the future, be clear about your expectations of her and let her know the stress you go through as build up to therapy and just how easily she could lose your trust.

It might also be a good idea to send an outlook meeting invite to her to add to her calendar - or she can send one to you. I do this with my T so that we both have the date booked electronically - I understand your frustration fully, I would certainly be shattered on the second appointment if that had happened to me.

Take care and hope it works out for you

shiraz

 

[Nicky31]

Hey Lamb

I'm glad that you have had a chance to regroup and calm down a bit. I'm sorry that today has left you feeling so confused, let down and angry. I can understand this and I wonder how even after a sleep later on you might have other thoughts about it too.

I'm glad that you are willing to at least try again with the therapist, but it might be a really good idea to express to her how you felt today and explain how clarity, honesty and trust are massive factors if you are going to work well together and how a lack of these will cause your symptoms to make life hell for you. Remember that therapy only works when you can be brutally honest. It takes balls and it's tiring and tough, but it really does pay off.

Hugs for you
Nic x:Hug_emoticon:

 

[Tinyflame]

Dear Lamb,

This may not be relevant to you, but here goes nothing.

After 25 years of dealing with the emotional roller coaster of ptsd, and of the inordinate difficulty of asking for help, and trying to identify my feelings and strike a healthy balance between self-respect and being fair to others, were it me, I would try one more time, and hopefully tell your T what you felt, and why.

What I am thinking, just were it me, is that although that was not an 'ideal' start, life is full on mistakes/ misinterpretations/ miscommunications. It is not your responsibilty to 'do' her job for her, but on th other hand, she is human, too. Maybe it can be an opportunity for some growth.

What it definitely sounds like is that it was big trigger. Now, how can you pull it apart/ understand it, so that next time (in general, -not specifically with this T, hopefully) it is less painful/ controlling?

I don't mean to sound harsh, -quite the opposite, but no one can "make" you feel anything. I understand- the feelings/ triggers/ interpretations of her actions- the sheer stress of it all, can get the emotions rolling, but you do (now) have a choice to keep practising replacing those painful emotions with something more constructive/ healing. I find- it may take a while, 2 or 3 days, even, but when I can do that it tends to give me a new perspective and if nothing else I feel more at peace with a decision, after that. Less at the whim of my emotions and less constricted in my thinking, cognitively.

-I know it is hard, and I don't mean to suggest that whatever you feel isn't 'right'- it is. I think it would help your T though, too, to perhaps understand better.

By the same token, therapy is important, and especially to find someone you can trust. You will know what to do.
:Hug_emoticon:

 

[Onefineday]

Something SORT OF like this has happened to me before. When my mamma was in rehab I was getting a lot of attention from everyone in the family group, veryone felt really terrible when I shared my story and thought it was all a tragedy (I hate sympathy and people telling me I'm strong, etc. I LOATH it). The guy who ran the rehab wanted me to speak to someone so I arranged to come an hour early before the group so we could talk. So I showed up, waited, and waited, and waited, and then found out that the person I was meant to see had just been fired, and when I said 'well I have been waiting here for ages', he got this attitude with me like I was being a twat for being frustrated! How had is it to pick up the phone, or arrange for me to see someone else? Bastard.