I have a difficult relationship with the act of looking forward. Often I feel unable to really "feel" the positive anticipation that my brain tells me ought to be there when thinking about upcoming events that will probably give me some respite or positive distraction. I try to make myself focus on looking forward to things in whatever way I can, even if it doesn't feel good, because I keep hoping that in this way I will somehow learn to experience the positive anticipation that my brain alerts me should be there. I hope that doesn't sound too maddeningly analytical or sterile, though if it does, that's probably appropriate, as that's often how I feel.
So for now, I'm looking forward to going rowing on Sunday. I usually look back afterwards and realise that I did enjoy at least some of it, and am sad and let down when it's finished.
I'm looking forward to my T coming back from holidays. In fact I'm almost unable to look forward to it consciously because it brings such immense emotion.
Each day I look forward to spending time in the sun, in the fresh air and in nature. Truly, I do. I look forward to witnessing the sunrise each day, because it is one of the most predictable and reliable beauties in the world, and nothing can take it away from me.
Maddog
So for now, I'm looking forward to going rowing on Sunday. I usually look back afterwards and realise that I did enjoy at least some of it, and am sad and let down when it's finished.
I'm looking forward to my T coming back from holidays. In fact I'm almost unable to look forward to it consciously because it brings such immense emotion.
Each day I look forward to spending time in the sun, in the fresh air and in nature. Truly, I do. I look forward to witnessing the sunrise each day, because it is one of the most predictable and reliable beauties in the world, and nothing can take it away from me.
Maddog